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11/10/2007
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Music jokes

Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a South American Macaw?A: One is loud, obnoxious and noisy; the other is a bird.

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Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola?A: Sit in the back and dont play....

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Q. Whats the definition of a quarter tone? A. A bagpiper tuning his drones....

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Q: Whats the difference between an onion and an accordion?A: No-one cries when you chop up an accordion....

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Q: Why are orchestra intermissions only twenty minutes long?A: So the violists dont need to be retrained....

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Q: What do you call a male quartet?A: Three men and a tenor....

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Q: Whats the difference between a Scotsman and a Rolling Stone? A: A Rolling Stone says "hey you, get off of my cloud!",...

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Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?A: Its all in the grip....

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An eight-year-old kid says t his dad, "When I grow up, I want to be a musician."The dad says, "I am sorry -- cant have i...

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When a young hotshot conductor was making his debut at the Met, he showed the jaded and skeptical orchestra how well he...

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Fritz Kriesler and Rachmaninov had a recital in Carnegie Hall once. In the middle of the music, Kriesler got lost and tu...