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11/10/2007
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Music jokes

Q: What do you do with percussionists that lose one of their drumsticks?A: Stick them up front of the group and tell them to wave their arms!

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Q: How do you get 2 piccolos to play a perfect unison?A: Shoot one....

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Conductor: Again from measure 5, if you please.Voice from viola section: But Maestro, we have no measure numbers....

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Q: Why is the banjo player a fiddle players best friend?A: Without him, the fiddle would be the most hated instrument on...

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Q: What do you call a person who plays the viola?A: A violator....

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Q: How do you get a cellist to play fortissimo?A: Write pp, espressivo....

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Q: Why are orchestra intermissions only twenty minutes long?A: So the violists dont need to be retrained....

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Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola?A: Play in the low register with a lot of wrong notes....

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Jacques Thibault, the violinist, was once handed an autograph book by a fan while in the greenroom after a concert."Ther...

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Q: How can you tell when a tenor is really stupid?A: When the other tenors notice....

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Q: Why are violas so large?A: It is an optical illusion. Its not that the violas are large, just that the viola players...