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11/10/2007
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Music jokes

Q: What is the definition of a major seventh?A: A violist playing octaves.

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Q: What do you call the folks who hang around the musicians at conservatories?A: Violists....

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Q: Whats the difference between a chainsaw and an accordion?A: A chainsaw can be tuned....

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Q: What do lead trumpet players use for birth control?A: Their personality....

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Q: What is the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section?A: Half a measure....

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Q: Did you hear about the drummer who locked his keys in his car?A: It took him four hours to get the bass player out....

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Q: What is the difference between a cello and a coffin?A: The coffin has the corpse on the inside....

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Q: There is a frog driving east and a trombonist walking west. What can be surmised from this?A: The frogs probably on i...

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Q: What is the definition of a Soviet String Quartet?A: A Soviet Symphony Orchestra after a tour of the USA!...

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Q: How do you get a cellist to play fortissimo?A: Write pp, espressivo....

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An eight-year-old kid says t his dad, "When I grow up, I want to be a musician."The dad says, "I am sorry -- cant have i...