Military Jokes Category:

All our jokes listing within the Military jokes category are listed below. Click on any of the items to view the full joke.

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Military jokes

- How many Iraqis does it take to launch a Scud missile?- Two. One to launch it, one to watch CNN to find out where it l...

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Military jokes

- How many Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb?- That is a military secret. If I told you Id have to kill you...

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Military jokes

- How many survivors of nuclear war does it take to screw in a light bulb?- None. People that glow in the dark dont need...

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- What do you think about the coming battle, General?- God knows it will be lost.- Then why should we go for it?- To fin...

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- When the general comes, report to me immediately. The general doesnt show. The sergeant gets nervous and every hour re...

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Military jokes

- Who likes music? - asks a commander.- Two soldiers step forward.- All right. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment...

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Military jokes

A destroyer pulled into a foreign port, and put down maximum liberty. The skeleton crew didnt notice a chimpanzee, escap...

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Military jokes

A draftee went in for his physical wearing a truss and with a little convincing acting got his papers marked M.E. for Me...

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Military jokes

A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, "I...

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A general calls a colonel:- Do you have a couple of smart majors?- Yes I do.- Send them to me. I need to move my furnitu...

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Military jokes

A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and s...

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Military jokes

A Maintenance Battalion in Germany had just received a brand new Executive Officer, an Armor Major. The Major proceeded...

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Military jokes

A patrol of allied soldiers were in a ruined city during World War Two. They are bragging and joshing about how many kil...

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Military jokes

A recruit examines the food served to him in the batallion dining room.- Do I have any choice here, he asks a sergeant.-...

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Military jokes

A retired sergeant was asked: "Well, how do you like civilian life?""Terrible," he said gruffly, "all those people aroun...

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A sailor in the Navy who had been at sea for a long time was anxious to be reunited with his girlfriend, so he sent her...

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A soldier at the Pentagon got out of the shower, and realized that his clothes were missing. And then he accidentally lo...

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A soldier keeps a mug upside down and tells the sergeant:- I cant drink from this mug. It has no opening.The sergeant ex...

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A solider stationed in the South Pacific wrote to his wife in the States to please send him a harmonica to occupy his fr...

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A trio of old veterans were bragging about the heroic exploits of their ancestors one afternoon down at the VFW hall. "M...

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A trooper asks a sergeant:- Is it true that man descended from a monkey?- Yes, troopers possibly were. But not sergeants...

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Military jokes

A warrant officer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, Ill turn into a b...

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A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain. "What would you do if a sudden storm sprang...

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Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especi...

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Airmen had to launch two E-3 AWACS from a National Guard base after a heavey snow strom. Well after a 5 hour delay waiti...

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An Air Force cargo plane was preparing for departure from Thule Air Base in Greenland. They were waiting for the truck t...

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An airforce officer goes to heaven and at the gate St Peter asks him if he has ever done anything in his life that he be...

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An Army Ranger was on holiday in the depths of Louisiana, where he tried to buy some Alligator shoes. However, he was no...

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An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says "Are you crazy? You just...

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Military jokes

As he was drilling a batch of recruits, the sergeant saw that one of them was marching out of step. Walking up next to t...