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Waiter jokes

Waiter (serving soup): It looks like rain today.Patron: Yes it does, but it smells like soup....

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Monster jokes

Waiter on ocean liner: Would you like the menu, sir? Monster: No thanks, just bring me the passenger list....

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Waiter jokes

Waiter! Waiter! This salad is frozen solid.Yes, sir. Its the iceberg lettuce that does it....

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Waiter jokes

Waiter, are there snails on the menu !Yes sir, they must have escaped from the kitchen !...

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Waiter jokes

Waiter, can you get rid of this fly in my starter !I cant do that sir, hes not had his main course yet !...

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Waiter jokes

Waiter, I cant eat this meat, its crawling with maggots !Quick, run to the other end of the table and grab it as it goes...

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Waiter jokes

Waiter, I cant seem to find any oysters in this oyster soup.Would you expect to find angels in angel cake?...

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Waiter jokes

Waiter, Id like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.Im sorry, sir, but were out of cream. How about with no milk?...

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Waiter jokes

Waiter, is there soup on the menu ?No, madam I wiped it off !...

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Waiter jokes

Waiter, my lunch is talking to me !Well you did ask for a tongue sandwich !...

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Waiter jokes

Waiter, there is a bee in my alphabet soup !Yes sir, and Im sure there is an A, C and all the other letters too !...

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Waiter jokes

Waiter, there is a cockroach on my steak !They dont seem to care what they eat do they sir !...

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Waiter jokes

Waiter, there is a dead fly in my soup !No its not, its a piece of dirt that looks like one !...

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Waiter jokes

Waiter, there is a fly in my bean soup !Dont worry sir Ill fish him out and exchange it for a bean !...

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Waiter jokes

Waiter, there is a fly in my soup !Hold on sir, Ill get the fly spray !...

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Waiter jokes

Waiter, there is a fly in my soup !Yes sir, thats the manager, the last customer was a witch doctor !...

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Waiter jokes

Waiter, there is a fly in my soup!I know, but unfortunately we are out of turtle....

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Waiter jokes

Waiter, there is a fly in my soup!Sorry sir, maybe Ive forgotten it when I removed the other three....

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Waiter jokes

Waiter, there is a fly in my wine !Well you did ask for something with a little body in it!...

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Waiter jokes

Waiter, there is a frog in my soup !Dont worry sir there isnt enough there to drown him !...

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Waiter jokes

Waiter, there is a maggot in my soup !Dont worry sir, he wont last long in there !...

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Waiter jokes

Waiter, there is a mosquito in my soup !Dont worry sir, they dont eat much !...

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Waiter jokes

Waiter, there is a spider drowning in my soup !It hardly looks deep enough to drown in sir !...

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Waiter jokes

Waiter, there is a worm on my plate !Thats not a worm sir, its your sausage ?...

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Waiter jokes

Waiter, theres a dead fly in my soup!What do you expect for $1 - a live one?...

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Waiter jokes

Waiter, theres a dead fly in my soup!Yes sir, its the hot water that kills them....

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Waiter jokes

Waiter, theres a fly in my custard !Ill fetch him a spoon sir !...

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Dead and dying jokes

Waiter, theres a fly in my soup !Yes, its the rotting meat that attracts them !...

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Waiter jokes

Waiter, theres a fly in my soup !Yes, its the rotting meat that attracts them !...

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Waiter jokes

Waiter, theres a fly in my soup!Couldnt be, sir. The cook used them all in the raisin bread....